If you never ask the question
You'll never find the answer
As a young girl l loved all animals but was particularly fascinated by horses
Eventually l was allowed to start riding lessons at a highly respected riding school
But even as a little girl l felt that it was a double-edged sword
It was a dream come true to be around horses and to 'ride' them'
but it was such a desperate disappointment to feel such guilt
at bouncing about on them and being told to kick and pull them
Nonetheless l continued along that path
but l always felt deep regret that every time l rode
My horse was making a sacrifice that it did not ask to make...
I continually asked 'instructors' to teach me the right way
because l clearly didn't know what the right way was
The only thing that l did know was that this felt like the wrong way...
Nobody could teach me the right way
Because they
only knew the wrong
way
They told me that this was the only way.....
But l knew that there had to be another way...
So l made a concious decision not to ride...
A long time later l bought my first horse
She was a
beautiful black mare called Riverina
I hadn't planned to buy her but for some reason I was drawn to her
She was scared confused and sometimes dangerous
but she was also gentle and true
She was destined to be shot according to the 'experts'
But l couldn't be persuaded to do this even under threat...
It was only when l really took the time to look into her eyes
and then really saw into her soul
l could see that she didn't understand the world
didn't understand me
and l didn't understand her at all
Everything that l had been 'taught' about horses didn't apply to her!
And everything the 'experts' knew didn't apply to her either!
The only thing that l did know was that l loved her
I felt guilty, sad, helpless and alone
But worst of all l felt that l had betrayed her by listening to the 'experts'
So l resolved to listen to my own heart
and trust my own instinct
I found a different way that to me is
Kind Quiet Logical and Simple
I studied and researched countless equestrian methods
with teachers and horses
From BHS to Natural and everything else in between
I took what l thought was empathetic quiet and sufficient
and left everything else
in a place l don't go to....
I'm still learning
I'll never stop learning
I wish l could find an even more understanding way
but until l do I'll do it
the simplest way I know how
My way is certainly not the only way
But it is the only way that l can be true to myself
And it is the only way that l can be true to my horse
Riverina was never shot...